Thursday, August 2, 2012

My Traditional Family

I know, I know, another blog post by some nobody about the Chick-Fil-A debacle.

But, I feel compelled, because this is my little corner of the interwebs, and this is an issue that I feel passionately about.  And, no, I'm not talking about waffle fries and banana pudding milkshakes that now taste a little like oppression. 

I'm talking about why we, as Christians, have let the "issue" of homosexuality take such a stronghold, why it is the thing that will rally thousands into action for campaigns and boycotts and anti-boycotts and heated word battles all over the internet, while all around us the widows, the orphans, and those in prison go ignored and unloved.  I literally cannot wrap my mind around it.

I'm talking about why a large number of Christians are making this an "us" versus "them" situation, when shocker, there are loads of gay Christians out there.  That makes it an "us" versus "us" situation, and if we are to be about the business of unity and building community we cannot afford to turn on one another like that.  Our numbers are already dwindling, in case you've missed it.

I'm talking about all of this because I come from a "traditional" family.  And I am in the process of creating a "traditional" family.  But I think we need to firmly define what that word "traditional" means.  Jesus calls us to love our God and each other.  He calls us to love.  To me, that defines a "traditional" family.  To fill it up to the brim with love, and squeeze in some mercy, compassion, and forgiveness.  The family we're building here in our house doesn't always meet that definition of tradition, but it is something I hope we're striving for.  And while we do that, it means we cannot contain that love within the walls of our house.  Because Jesus calls us to love our God and each other.  Not the trite mushy love, but the dirty gritty sometimes I can't stand you but I'm not giving up on you kind of love.

And I think that truly loving others means not actively working to deny them the ability to build a home based on love, or the ability to face financial, medical, and every other nuanced personal decision this crazy short life brings our way together with the person that they most love and trust.  It means welcoming everyone to the table.  In our homes and in God's house. Without constantly constantly pointing out that you "love them, but hate their lifestyle / sexual act / choice".  Because honestly, if every time my name came up in a Christian circle it was prefaced by, "Oh, Alison, love her, but hate that she curses / lies / lusts / (the list could really keep going, it's embarrassing)" I'm not sure I would have been able to stick it out this long.

I'm going to be clear, here, and state that I do not think that being gay is a sin.  Don't think the act is a sin either.  I say this with complete peace in my heart, with a stance that I feel is based in scripture.  And yet, sometimes I feel crazy for thinking this way.  Because apparently I am really in the minority.  And that makes me feel really lonely sometimes.  So, I'm talking about it here, in hopes that maybe I won't feel so lonely.  Or maybe someone else won't either.  Or that we can at least work together to build a "traditional" family EVEN if we disagree.  Seriously, come on over, the freezer's full!


  1. I love this... You are a great writer and friend, and even though this is the first time I've commented, I've been stalking this blog since it's inception (of course). Keep it up!

  2. Thanks for inviting me to read! Good article. Disagree w/some points. The essence of who we are should be love... b/c we are known by that. More, sometimes love is a tough concept to grasp b/c it involves action. You are not alone. I am w/you buddy regardless of our different views.

  3. YAY! I was holding my breath until the end, waiting for you to use the tired and overused 'love the sinner, hate the sin' line. And you didn't and it made me happy. I was raised a conservative Christian, attended a Christian college and am now Agnostic. One of the main reasons I left the Church is over its view of homosexuality. If Christianity were simply trying to live as Christlike as possible, I would totally be down with that. But sadly, it's not, and I can't pick and choose from the religion what I'm a fan of and what I'm not. Gays should be able to marry. I believe in my heart God agrees with that. We can not lump homosexuality in with alcoholism, promiscuity, or even 'little' sins like lying. Someday, we'll all realize it belongs among other defining traits like hair color and height and (look how far we've come!) skin color.

    I'm sorry you feel so alone, but I am so glad to know there are Christians like you who are spreading love and not teaching their children that homosexuality is a sin. That makes me happy, and I am so glad you are brave enough to put it out there for the rest of us to be encouraged.

    Thank you!

  4. Absolutely beautiful, Alison. I adore you, your family, and your blog. You are incredible.